Hop Dad

Growing at the Speed of 12

November 21, 2023 at 6:00 pm Leave a comment

To My Handsome Son on Your Twelfth Birthday,

The pop of the fastball into my glove gets louder each time we play catch. I have to tell you to step farther down the street because that ball is rocketing at me and I need more time to see it. We talk about whatever is on your mind as the ball goes back and forth, but I have to pay close attention because if I don’t catch that throw just right my palm will be stinging after impact. This is what four years of baseball has done for you. Scratch that – this is what YOU have done for yourself with four years of baseball. Now that you are twelve years old, you are throwing fireballs at me.

Baseball has become the primary activity in your life and last season was spectacular. Your club team won about as many as they lost, which was a big improvement over the previous year. The crowning achievement was the victory as a member of the Kirkland All Stars at the Issaquah Slugfest. Your team came back in dramatic fashion to defeat host Issaquah in the semifinals, then took down Mercer Island in the finals with another comeback. Your sister and I were cheering from the grass behind the center field wall, about to have heart attacks with each pitch. Meanwhile you, the captain of the infield, are snagging ground balls and throwing kids out and hitting the ball amid the din of screaming parents. I cannot believe how much pressure you were under and you were solid the entire tournament. That well-deserved trophy is still on your nightstand.

Little League was a much different experience. The mood is more relaxed and you often joke with members of the opposing teams during the game, since they are classmates or teammates from seasons past. With four years of Little League under your belt you know a lot of kids on every team and those games are a welcome relief from the stress and competitiveness of club baseball tournaments.

Home life this past year has been very busy; sports practices, tournaments, and family obligations fill every weekend. Even though she attends all of your tournaments, you’re annoyed at having to spend so much time at your sister’s volleyball matches. Lately your preference is to just wait in the car until it’s time to go home, which can be a long day if her team is doing well. But when I can convince you to sit with me in the gym all I have to do is give you my camera and then you are focused on every play of the match. Your sister is your favorite subject and you excel at making great images. You have an artistic side that we don’t see much until you get a camera in your hands.

Elementary school is done and now you have to navigate the weirdness of middle school. I know this is a big deal for you but in true Duncan fashion you don’t reveal much of your daily life there. We occasionally have short but meaningful conversations about whatever is on your mind and sometimes it’s school-related. All I know is your grades are exemplary and you have a great reputation with the teachers and staff. I’m glad that you and I still talk on occasion because I know soon you will be a teenager and you’re likely to keep more of those emotions tucked away. For now I’ll take any time I can get with you.

After school you spend time with your friends online in the gaming world and that’s okay for the most part. Your childhood looks much different than mine. After school I was outside on my bike riding around with my friends who lived just down the street. You don’t have kids living close to us so connecting with them online is your next best option. I am always concerned about how much time you spend online but that’s your community and it’s important to you. Also, your gaming time has helped develop an interest in how computers work. I was impressed with how you researched video game equipment, selected and ordered components, and built your own custom gaming keyboard complete with LED lights. And you call me a nerd.

Still some things have never changed: you love pizza and root beer and baseball and video games. Your room is a mess until I can’t stand it anymore and then we clean it up together. That space gets littered with baseball souvenirs, hats, comic books, phone chargers, computer cables, candy wrappers, homework, and a dish I already asked you to put in the sink. Clothing is definitely not something you fuss over. Pants and shoes become torn and ill-fitting because you are growing so fast. Coats are optional. You would rather drag a blanket into the car than wear a warm jacket.

So, here we suddenly are at your twelfth birthday. During these dozen years together, I have watched you consistently be kind and intelligent, clever and sensitive. Your world is expanding and, like those fastballs in the street, everything about you seems to be accelerating. I think this new year will be great. Just remember, as you continue growing you will always surrounded by friends, and a family who will love you forever. I am proud of all you have become.

Today is the day we celebrate you, my bright and handsome son, for you are twelve years old. Thank you for being such an amazing boy.

Happy Birthday to you, my Duncan Philip.

Entry filed under: Being Dad. Tags: Being Dad, Brewing, Children, Dad, Family, Fatherhood, Kids, Mom, Motherhood, Parenting.