Posts tagged ‘Family’
Changing to Fourteen
My Dear Son,
The other day I snuck in to the lounge area upstairs at your baseball practice facility to watch you workout. Though technically I’m not allowed up there I figure I’m paying an ungodly amount of money for you to hit baseballs so I get to spend a few minutes observing. You have grown quite a bit, in that way teenagers do where it seems one morning you wake up three inches taller. Your swing has changed. Your height has changed. So much of you has changed.
So, when I sat down to write this essay, I struggled to find new words to describe who you are now because I really don’t know. What I do know is that you are as fourteen as a boy can be, obsessed with sports and TikTok, and wearing a haircut just like all of the other boys in your class.
It doesn’t help that our current life schedule has us spending very little time together. You are either at school, baseball practice, gaming online with your friends, or asleep in the car. You rarely talk about school, giving me grunts of acknowledgement when I relentlessly ask you about your day. We can talk sports news, or video game news, and that’s about it right now. You call me on occasion, but it’s usually just a request for money or a ride somewhere. This is because your life away from me is far more important, your friends more influential, and I am mostly ok with that.
Some of these changes that have occurred over the past year were wanted, some not. You chose to switch schools so you could get away from a circle of friends that just didn’t fit you well. However, now you are in a new school and learning the subsequent lesson that, in order to truly change your life, you need to stop showing up to situations in the same way.
One unwanted change was having to say goodbye to a baseball team you had dedicated yourself to for the past four years. This was a painful change, I can tell, though you don’t talk to me about it. Fortunately, you have landed with a new team and are thoroughly enjoying that part of your life.
One very noticeable change is you shower without being asked, and you care somewhat about your appearance. I appreciate seeing you pay attention to personal hygiene, though I am sometimes startled by your epic cologne applications. I don’t know if all of this is because it’s what your circle of friends do now or it indicates the presence of a girl or two in your orbit. For me it means finding random cans of hair powder in the bathroom and a puck of hair gel in the freezer.
What hasn’t changed is your love of pizza and root beer, baseball and video games. Your bedroom remains a hovel of blankets and clothes and dirty dishes, and I am currently filled with the false hope that our upcoming redecoration of the space will spur you to take better care of it. You love and are annoyed by your sister in equal measure, but your dust-ups with her are less frequent now. That change I do appreciate.
Well, look at that – turns out I can find the words to describe you, after all. You are changing; moving away from being a little boy who “helped” me fix things and held my hand wherever we walked, to a teenager who… I don’t know, honestly.
Through all of this, you remain an amazing son who brightens my days. You are funny, smart, and caring in all of the right ways. I cannot imagine life without you. Please know that no matter what changes may come, I will always be on your side.
Today we celebrate you, my bright and handsome son, for you are fourteen years old today. This father is lucky to have you and I will love you forever.
Happy birthday to you, my Duncan Philip.
Hop Dad 